Nelson Mandela, the most famous South African revolutionist and politician once said that:
“If you want to look inside a society’s soul, see the way it treats its children.”
Today, I speak on behalf of those children who cannot speak for themselves, children who are living in oblivion and ignorant of the world beyond their street, the children who are far more courageous than the previous generations and have found a way to smile no matter what situation they have to face. These are the youngsters who are nearing adulthood and their wish-list consists of a touch-screen mobile phone and pizza.
If we look at most of the families, we see that we spend a considerate amount of money on kids’ education; we find good schools which are in our budget, we attend PTMs, spend a good fraction of our time yelling at our kids to do their homework and scold them if they don’t get the top ranks. We even arrange for their tuitions for extra learning (although I never understood the culture of tuition).
Despite doing all this, our children are literally running away from education. Talk about how school is going with them and they are out of the room in no time. They make excuses not to go to tuition at least twice a week and given their way, they would leave their schools and stay at home, logged in on Facebook sharing deep useless quotes about life and commenting SubhanALLAH on every Islamic photo that they come across. Apparently, something is wrong.
Now I am going to be bold and brutal while I state the fact that
It is all our fault as parents, as elder siblings, cousins, neighbors and adults. We have confined the learning and education of a child to mere text books and that’s it. Nothing else.
As long as they are studying at school, our job is done. It’s not done. It’s far from done.
In every text book, our kids study the importance of attributes such as tolerance, respect, gratitude, patience, love, manners, friendship, apology, forgiveness, healthy lifestyle, selection of words and so on. The list is endless, but the question we need to ask ourselves is that, do we practice them? Do we show patience when somebody does wrong with us? Do we respect our guests and say good things about them when they leave? Do we not go into the wedding and gather around just to talk behind people’s backs? Do we apologize to anyone in real life whenever we are wrong or have said something to hurt them? Ever? Do we say good things about people and remember the times that they helped us or we just keep blathering about what wrong they did to us and how mean and selfish they are? Are we not the people who transfer our enmity and hate to our future generation?
Are we not living in that society in which kids of two brothers are forced to see each other in disgust due to a misunderstanding occurred 20 years ago?
The answer lies within you.
Tolerance, respect and patience are acquired skills, they are learned attributes, practiced choices, and until our children see us practicing what we expect them to do, they will end up just like us, everything just in theory and nothing in practical.
Children close their ears to advice but open their eyes to example. They unknowingly record everything that we do in their minds, even small things like how we greet and where we keep the keys when we come home. To implant good habits in children, have good open relationship with them, provide example how to behave properly, get involved in your child’s life, his small joys and sorrows and most of all, praise and acknowledge when they do well. Confidence is the key to every lock in the world, those who have experienced this, know this, but unfortunately we don’t realize that a simple appreciation, even as small as the selection of colour in their colouring book, can plant a seed in them which will make them confident and reach out to new heights.
Amazingly, in these times, the most revolutionary thing anybody can do is to raise good, honest and generous children who will question the answers of people who say violence is the answer.
When we ourselves don’t believe otherwise, when we fight and break off blood relations on small trivial matters, when abuses have become a part of our routine conversation, including women’s, then how will we teach our kids to maintain peace in their hearts and lives?
You see now the fault, the gap and the blunders we have done over the course of years and now it’s affecting our whole community like a plague.
Let us be the ones who say that they are not satisfied with this status quo, let us seek a different path than our parents and do something which can change the course of the future.
Investing in education is one of the most important things we can do, not only for our children, but for the benefit of our whole community. Instead of buying plots, buying jewellery and refurnishing homes, utilize the money to get your children the highest level of education in prestigious institutes.
Stop, please, stop differentiating between girls’ and boys’ education.
If you look around, you will definitely find examples of how an educated girl has changed the whole future of her kids. How she has managed the home in a way uneducated girl cannot. How she maintains the ties of her in-laws and how much respect she gives to her husband. You remember we used to learn in school that “educate a boy, you educate only him. If you educate a girl, you educate her whole generation.” It’s true and we have all seen it. Moreover, stop opting for those degrees which don’t include university life. Stop seeing your own comfort in the most important aspect of your kid’s life. Just stop and look around you; look at those who are living without education and take a look at those who have got education and where are they right now. Invest in their future and trust them to take care of you when you grow old. Don’t think that they will have wings and leave you alone in despair. If you don’t trust them, who else will?
Education is like a passport to a better future, for themselves and for you too.
Help them expand their vision, enhance their exposure, don’t limit them to just one street, let them go and explore what is out there and send them forth in freedom.
Yes, I am aware that these are the times of tight budgets, difficult choices have to be made every single day. We must make sure our very limited resources are spent on priorities and I believe we should have no higher priority than investing in our children’s classrooms and in their future.
The most sacred trust in this whole universe is the trust a child has on his parents. There is no duty more important that ensuring that their rights are respected, their welfare is protected, that their lives are free from fear and that they can grow up in peace, wherever they want. I get afraid, when I look at the lives of the children of our community, I am afraid that the physical, emotional and intellectual impairment that our attitude and ignorance is inflicting on children can mean a lifetime of suffering for them and a legacy of misery for the next generation.
Make your child know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn’t been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.
If you keep him hidden and locked, he will never realize his full potential, the wealth of sympathy, kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of your child. In every child is the potential for greatness, and it is our job to give them opportunities to unlock it.
I feel my country should do more for its children.
Our children are not born gangsters. In fact, the truth is that they have the potential to become great leaders, very charismatic and good organizers, but instead of becoming heroes, our negligence force them to become what they are today.
I want to help change the way young people look at school, and hence, the way they look at their futures. I want schools to have more practical approach and teach things outside the curriculum which has more link with what is going on in the outside world. I am sure if we ask our kids that who inspires them; who are their ideals, they will say no one. I want schools to arrange speakers, people from amongst themselves to inspire them, to let them know that beyond their home, street and neighbourhood, the only thing respected is their education.
Every child deserves a chance at a life filled with love, laughter, friends and family. Can we change ourselves and make a better world for our children? I believe we can, if we ourselves realize a simple fact that our kids are merely a reflection of us. If something is wrong with them, high chances are that they learned it from us. It’s time to realize that unless we teach children peace, someone else will teach them violence.
The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children. When our kids’ lives would be fulfilling, we would be our happiest. Therefore my challenge to each of you is that you ask yourself what you can do to make a difference, how you can change little things in your everyday life and home which will be reflected in the generations to come. Teach love, generosity and good manners because after all, your hatred will do them nothing good and deep down, we all know this.
Maybe some people won’t agree but
The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.
The world is brutal, cruel and unkind and it seeks people who are week at their base. Don’t let your child get lost when you are no longer in this world. Be it your girl or boy, teach them to stand up for themselves, teach them to earn a livelihood for them, teach them to forget hatred and spread smiles wherever they go. If we don’t stand up for our children, then we don’t stand for much. Save your children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it.
Save your children. Save yourselves. Save the future generation.
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